My first church

So I am looking for God. (Ever notice how God's timing is always perfect?) There I am sitting in a church I have never been to before, at the funeral of a friend I had known for a short time, and thinking about how I need to find God. Just thinking.......wondering why we have to die, why life is so full of conflict, and confusion, how I did not want to leave here yet, that I wanted to make my life mean something. Just thinking how empty I felt at that moment, and how I could find how to fill it. I looked at my friend Keith and said "I need to find God". He looked at me, and said " I know where you can find Him. Come to my church. You will find Him." He gave me a card and said nothing else. We buried Randy that day, and I went home to think.

I spent a couple weeks after that, helping Randy's widow, and just riding my motorcycle. I spent many days, just riding, and thinking about God, and how I felt about Him. I watched the waves at the beach, the seagulls flying, the wind through the trees. I watched people, and how they treated each other, or me. I took rides to far off places, just lost in myself, and talking to God. Just wasn't sure if He was hearing me or not. One day, I was getting ready to ride on a Sunday, when I came across the card Keith had given me that day in church. I saw the service was at 10am, so I decided to go and check it out.

On the way, I changed my mind. I said "Let me check out churches closer to home first". So I rode to a church close to home. Now, I am in full leather biker gear, and the most butch looking female you would ever care to meet. I decided right then and there, I was going to look for a church that would accept me just as I was- biker chick and all. In my mind, the church that welcomed me as a biker, would accept pretty much everyone. So every time I went out to a church, I looked like I rode with a biker club and was as dirty, sweaty, as I could get. I went to 6 different churches......and in each I got a different reaction, but all of them were not welcoming. One church would not even let me in. The ushers at the door turned and looked, and turned back. I was stunned, but in the end, I realized that God was guiding me to where HE needed me to be- not where I wanted to be.

So after running all around town, I came back to that card. Simple, basic, telling me where to go. Telling me to "Come as you are". So, I went. On my bike. As I was, biker chick, leather and grunge. When I got there, I smoked a cigarette, and tousled my hair, and said "Ok God, let's see what you got me into here", and walked in. Let me just say, I felt welcomed. I felt the acceptance from the first person I met, till the last person I saw when I left. And that is so important, because that is what God is- loving, kind, warm, accepting, non-judging. I sat through the service, and once I got past the Pastor's accent, I was intrigued. It was making sense. I did not feel guilty, but lifted. I did not feel condemned, but free. I felt the empty inside of me twitching.

It took several weeks before I stepped up and gave my life to Jesus. It took a bit for the Lord to convict me, but one day I felt a tug inside, something that said, "Come on, go for it!" There was something in me that wanted to run, jump, and sing for joy. I walked up to the front, bowed my head, and asked Jesus to show me the way. Then I walked back to my seat. I did not know it then, and did not realize then but right at the moment I started to walk up front, God began to change me from the inside out. Every step brings me closer to Him. And I can look back now and realize what a journey I have been on, and how God has been with me every step of the way, never forsaking me, never forgetting me, and giving me guidance with everything I do.